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Red Flags and warning signs.... 2011-03-07
Red flags and warning sign. Is this you because I look for
these. If your new in town and ask me where the Methadone Clinic
is.........Warning
If the police already know your description....... Warning
If you know the county jail system better than the sheriff.....warning
To date somebody. If you have to get cleared by CPS or a Judge.........Warning
I know we ...
1 評論, 48 瀏覽次數,
1 票
,5.00 分數
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Free Tattoo 2011-03-07
A man walks into a tattoo parlor and says he would like a $100
dollar bill on his dick. Well the tattoo artist laughs and
says "I'll do it for free if you can give me one
good reason for it."
The guy thinks for a second and says. "Well one, I like
to keep my money in my pants, two I like to watch my money grow,
and three I want to see how fast my wife can blow a $100.
1 評論, 202 瀏覽次數,
8 票
,4.17 分數
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Just Try to be Strong 2011-03-07
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years.
He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds
a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while
tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her
neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's
in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an ...
3 評論, 225 瀏覽次數,
12 票
,5.63 分數
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Off to Hawaii 2011-03-07
There was a couple who were big over-spenders. They always
dreamed to spend holidays in Hawaii, but were never able
to save any money to do so. One day they came up with an idea--each
time they had sex, they would put $20.00 bill into a piggy
bank.
They bought the piggy, and followed that procedure for
about a year. After that time, they decided that there was
enough money for their ...
1 評論, 144 瀏覽次數,
0 票
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'reyan George" captured! 2011-02-25
recently i had the rare learning opportunity to deal with
a professional con artist on fbookhookups.com.com.
I received a email from a lady naming herself reyan George
who only had one photo on her account. she quickly started
with a story about how she was looking for love and cherished
love etc. right away i knew something was up because it seemed
like it was a letter that was sent to ...
0 評論, 150 瀏覽次數,
3 票
,1.47 分數
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Mrs. Boudreaux 2011-02-25
One night, a torrential rain soaked Southern Louisiana;
the next morning the resulting floodwaters came up about
6 feet into most of the homes there.
Mrs. Boudreaux was sitting on her roof with her neighbor,
Mrs.Thibodeaux, waiting for help to come. Mrs. Thibodeaux
noticed a baseball cap, floating near the house.
Then she saw it float far out into the front yard, then float
back ...
3 評論, 181 瀏覽次數,
4 票
,2.47 分數
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Abstinance 2011-02-18
Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become
members of his church. The minister said that they would
have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and
tell him how it went. The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle
aged and the final couple was newlywed.
Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister.
The retired couple said it ...
3 評論, 172 瀏覽次數,
7 票
,2.79 分數
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Sexual Desire Enhancement 2011-02-18
Doc, you've gotta help me... my wife just isn't
interested in sex anymore. Haven't you got a pill or something I can give her?"
"Look, I can't prescribe..." "Doc, we've been friends for years. Have you
ever seen me this upset? I am desperate! I can't think; I can't concentrate;
my life is going utterly to Hell! You've got to help me." The doctor opens his desk drawer and removes a small bottle
of ...
3 評論, 180 瀏覽次數,
5 票
,2.82 分數
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His and Her Diary 2011-02-17
Her Diary:
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made
plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends
all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but
he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested
that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked
him ...
3 評論, 179 瀏覽次數,
7 票
,3.55 分數
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reincarnation 2011-02-16
Jason came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking
drunk (as he often did) and crept into bed beside his wife
who was already asleep.
He gave his wife a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of
his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. “Who the hell are you?” Demanded Jason, “and what
are you doing in my bedroom?”. ...
1 評論, 151 瀏覽次數,
5 票
,3.14 分數
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the Portrait 2011-02-14
Mrs. Johnson decided to have her own portrait painted by
a very famous artist. She told the artist, "Paint
me with 3-carat diamond earrings, a large diamond necklace,
glimmering emerald bracelets, and a beautiful red ruby
pendant." "But ma'am, you are not wearing any of those things."
"I know, " said Mrs. Johnson. "My health
is not good, and my husband is having an affair with his secretary.
When ...
1 評論, 122 瀏覽次數,
5 票
,3.14 分數
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the Farmer and His Wife 2011-02-06
A farmer is lying in bed with his wife when he turns to her
grabs her tits and says "Honey if you could get milk
out of these we could sell the cow". Then he grabs her
pussy and says "Honey if you could get eggs out of here
we could sell the chickens". She turns to him smiles, grabs
his dick and says "Honey if you could get this up I could
get rid of your brother
1 評論, 220 瀏覽次數,
2 票
,2.42 分數
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the Bus Ride 2011-01-27
An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with
the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered
to the driver, I have a dead pussy.
The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and
said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common.
1 評論, 140 瀏覽次數,
5 票
,2.49 分數
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the in-laws 2011-01-25
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not
saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of
them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the
husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep, " the wife replied, "in-laws."
2 評論, 172 瀏覽次數,
2 票
,3.81 分數
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expectations 2011-01-24
I've been on this site now on and off for several years.
I've had a lot of fun and I've enjoy meeting some
really wonderful people. I also been witness to some of
the absolutely most unrealistic expectations and narcissus
behavior imaginable. This always makes me smile.
The idea that someone using this site is someway more moral
than someone else is the height of stupidity, not ...
1 評論, 58 瀏覽次數,
3 票
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dont do it ! 2011-01-23
A blonde who suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her goes
out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly,
opens the door, and, sure enough, finds him naked in the
arms of a redhead. Well, now she’s angry. She opens her
purse and takes out the gun. But as she does so, she is overcome
with grief and points the gun at her own head.
The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don’t do ...
1 評論, 175 瀏覽次數,
2 票
,2.42 分數
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Revenge ? 2011-01-22
A woman and her boyfriend are out having a few drinks. While
they’re Sitting there having a good time together, she
starts talking about this Really great new drink. The more she talks about it, the more excited she gets, and
starts trying to talk her boyfriend into having one. After a while he gives in and lets her order the drink for
him. The Bartender brings the drink and puts the following ...
0 評論, 175 瀏覽次數,
8 票
,3.94 分數
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Pizza Pizza 2011-01-22
My wife, on her way home, picked up a $5 pizza for dinner.
As we are eating it she fell on the floor and started having
convulsions. I grabbed and fumbled with the phone as I called
the 911 dispatch. As I knelt and attended to her the paramedic
unit arrived and started checking her out. They told me
not to be worried and that everything would be fine. She
was just having "Little Seizures."
1 評論, 171 瀏覽次數,
1 票
,3.70 分數
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the bank hostages 2011-01-22
This guy robs a bank and takes hostages.
He asks one of the hostage, "Did you see me rob the bank?"
The hostage answers, "Yes."
The crook, promptly shoots him.
Then he asks the another hostage the same question, "Did
you see me rob the bank?"
The hostage answers, "No, but my wife over there did."
1 評論, 125 瀏覽次數,
0 票
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the sex talk 2011-01-16
In a small town, an elderly couple had been dating each other
for a long time.
At the urging of their friends, they decided it was finally
time for marriage.
Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long
conversation regarding how their marriage might work.
They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on.
Finally, the old gentleman decided ...
1 評論, 152 瀏覽次數,
8 票
,2.55 分數
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the beer drinker 2011-01-16
A man walks in the door after a day at the office to find his
wife crying at the kitchen table. Whats wrong? he asks.
I went to the store today, and a horrible man looked up my
skirt. He said, ˜Id like to fill that with beer and drink
it, she sobs. I wish youd been there to kick his ass.
Listen, honey, Ive repeatedly told you to wear panties
every day, replies the husband. ...
1 評論, 186 瀏覽次數,
8 票
,3.01 分數
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at dinner 2011-01-16
A man and a beautiful woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant.
Their waitress (taking another order at a table a few paces away)
suddenly noticed that the man was slowing sliding down his chair
and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned.
The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his
chair and out of sight under the table.
Still, the woman dining ...
1 評論, 139 瀏覽次數,
2 票
,3.81 分數
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show me the money 2011-01-16
A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do
now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon.
Trying to assert himself rite off the bat, he exploded,
"If it weren't for my money, we wouldn't
be here at all!" The wife replied, "My dear,
if it weren't for your money, not only would we not be
in Florida, we wouldn't be on a honeymoon, nor would
there be any "we" in the first ...
1 評論, 107 瀏覽次數,
1 票
,2.40 分數
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first time swallowing 2011-01-08
ill never forget the time i had this hot girl swallow for
me. the look on her face was priceless. so innocent but so
confused LOL.
0 評論, 181 瀏覽次數,
0 票
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Size Doesn't Matter 2011-01-01
A couple had been dating for about a month, but the guy was
afraid to make any sexual advances because of his tiny organ.
Finally one evening, he gets up his courage, and takes her
to lovers' lane. While they are making out, he opens
his zipper and places her hand on his penis.
"Stop! How dare you!" the girl says. "You
know I don't smoke."
1 評論, 304 瀏覽次數,
7 票
,3.80 分數
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marriage proposal 2010-12-27
When asked if there was anything they would have changed
about one of the most romantic moments of their lives, several
women said a 'bigger diamond!'
54% of men still get down on one knee. 44% of men ask their partner's father for permission
to marry. 57% of men cry when she said yes. 65% of women say he could have put more effort and preparation
into the proposal. 25% of couples wait ...
1 評論, 128 瀏覽次數,
7 票
,1.51 分數
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New Years Eve Dream 2010-12-26
Janice was taking an afternoon nap on New Year's Eve
before the festivities. After she woke up, she confided
to Max, her husband, 'I just dreamed that you gave me
a diamond ring for a New Year's present. What do you
think it all means?'
'Aha, you'll know tonight, ' answered Max
smiling broadly.
At midnight, as the New Year was chiming, Max approached
Janice and handed her small ...
1 評論, 132 瀏覽次數,
3 票
,3.92 分數
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New Years Eve Party 2010-12-26
Trevor's New Year's Eve party was an annual occurrence
with numerous guests arriving. During the evening, a man
knocked on the door, was greeted heartily although no one
knew who he was, and was led to where the drinks were, in the
kitchen. He sat there happily, chatting away, for a couple
of hours before a strange light dawned on his face. 'You
know, ' he confided to Trevor, 'I wasn't
even ...
2 評論, 133 瀏覽次數,
3 票
,3.92 分數
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the Maple Leaf 2010-12-24
After being escorted to the witness box and sworn in, the
little old man was asked by the lawyer to explain what had
happened. He described the events that led up to the incident and finally
got to the main issue of the case, saying, "..and that's
when she hit me with a maple leaf!"
"Surely that couldn't have inflicted any serious
injury on you, sir, " the lawyer said.
"Are you ...
1 評論, 116 瀏覽次數,
2 票
,3.12 分數
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Who Makes the Coffee 2010-12-24
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should
brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up
first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our
coffee."
The husband said, "You're in charge of the cooking
around here and you should do it, because that's your
job. I can just wait for my coffee."
The wife replied, "No ...
3 評論, 131 瀏覽次數,
5 票
,3.80 分數
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