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Having a No Dickheads policy
Having a No Dickheads policy A little news snippet yesterday morning pre-empted a blog theme that I've been meaning to tackle for an awfully long time. New Zealand rugby star Aaron Smith was caught having sex with a stranger (i.e. not his girlfriend) in a disabled toilet at Christchurch airport (an airport I have visited - it's small and somewhere that an All Black would be spotted every where he went, so not surprising he got caught in the act). This is the first time that a member of the New Zealand team has been involved in an off-field misdemeanour for several years. This is because the New Zealand rugby union has a 'No Dickheads' policy. This is notorious because they use such colourful language in an official capacity, but it makes perfect sense. Caught at a weird fetish night throwing dwarves at a velcro dartboard - you're out the team Caught jumping off a ferry in a harbour - you're out the team Caught drink-driving because your pet kitten is trapped under floorboards and you drove to your local hardware store to get a wrench - you're out the team Caught brawling with fans of a rival team outside a nightclub - you're out the team England Cricketer Graeme Swann on his way to court after the kitten-under-the-floorboards incident For those not familiar with rugby - New Zealand is one of the world's great sports teams and the country is rugby mad. It's a small nation crawling with rugby talent, if you're a star and you start acting up, you're not indulged - you're cut! You're finished, done, over with - they'll find someone else, you're disposable. Having played and reported on rugby games I know that certain players are not the sharpest tools in the box so can be led astray or just go off the rails of their own accord. It's hard not to when you're under pressure and you work so hard. However the powers that be in New Zealand have concluded that it's better that they have a team of 'No Dickheads', rather than a team of talents that step out of line once in a while - it works, they win anyway, and they're World Champions right now. To my mind, everybody should have a No Dickheads policy - why should you put up with people behaving like an idiot? The fact is that we do because we accept certain people despite their faults, and we're not perfect ourselves. The difference between real life dickheads and cyber dickheads is that we indulge the real world ones because they're in our lives on a daily basis and most of the time they're okay. In general we're not in a constant state of anxiety or heightened alertness waiting for their next prank like Inspector Clouseau and Kato at home. Cyber dickheads are a different matter because usually you never meet them at all, or it's a disappointing first date that goes nowhere. So there's no major 'on the other hand' - you only get one chance to make a positive first impression and a lot of people blow it - they don't turn up on time, they don't bother dressing up, they don't bother combing their hair, you can tell it's been a while since they had a shower etc. Inspector Clouseau and manservant Kato - not everyone can afford a high furniture and crockery bill Sometimes when I've been talking to a potential meet and I suspect they're not taking it seriously I've laid down the law, I remember talking to someone in North London, whom I was going to meet on their doorstep, she hinted that she might not be able to turn up on time 'because of her ' - despite the meet being at a place and time of her convenience - having grown sick of waiting around for other dates I told her if she was more than 5 mins late I wouldn't wait for her and I'd go home. She was really shocked by this and unsurprisingly things unravelled from there. However I'd rather not bother, than be dicked around by someone, who is pretty much a stranger after all. I wonder what your Zero Tolerance 'No Dickhead' rules are - let me know what you won't put up with . . . |
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Blondie I do hope your change of identity means you won't be disowned at home in Ireland You're right it's not great when people expect you to meet at a time and a place of your convenience, and as you say if you're a couple with an open relationship then you're looking for something different, or exceptional, compared to relationship sex. As for being told what to wear . . . it's something I have discussed with meets, but it's a case of asking what they like to wear, rather than me telling them, even if I reveal to them what my taste is, which usually happens because they send me a bunch of pics and ask me 'what's your fave outfit?' I suppose if you come across a harmless dickhead occasionally it reminds you that you're hitched to someone that isn't a dickhead, which is a comforting thought at least
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