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Scum Mom of the Year
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Scum Mom of the Year And the award goes to.... Me. I feel like such an asshole. I woke up at 3 o'clock this morning and have been up ever since. Needless to say, I'm a little tired tonight... Not really sleepy tired, just worn out. I had to facilitate an orientation today for new employees, something I like to do, but also something that wears me out. It's fours hours of power point presentations and thinking on the spot as new employees are always full of questions. The spawn was being a shit tonight on top of it all. It's like she turned 12 and every single thing about her has changed. Anything I thought I knew has totally went out the window. Tonight was nothing but attitude and talk back. I ended up going to the gym by myself and then going grocery shopping immediately after because the spawn declared "Face it mom, you neglect me." The little shit.... With my arms full of bags, I trucked my tired legs up the stairs, down the hall, to the apartment door and knock on it, hoping the spawn would open it. Crickets. The door across the hall from me opened.... And a guy just stood there watching me as I tried to fumble through my purse to find the door key, hands clutching a bunch of plastic bag handles. I finally found them, and with my left hand somehow managed to get the key into the lock and turned to open the door. And THAT'S when I finally lost my shit. There sat the spawn on the end of the couch watching me as I collapsed through the door and dropped every single bag. "Why in the HELL didn't you open the fucking door for me??? What the HELL is wrong with you???" "You told me not to open the door for anyone." "I'm your fucking mother, I called your fucking name!!" I was so pissed. I made her finish bringing up the groceries and put them away while crying giant tears and exclaiming she couldn't understand why I was mad at her. Claiming I never called out her name. And now I feel bad. I don't yell at my like this, I never have. I don't hit them. I don't really punish them. We have a lot of conversations. I tell them when I'm disappointed in them and ask them if they understand why. I make them explain things to me, like what was or was not going through their mind when they chose to make a bad decision. I make them look me in the eye when we're speaking. I would not want my to scream at their own in that way. What kind of an example am I setting.... So, I am now off, to go have a conversation with the spawn. Strike that.... She's coming to me, even as I type this, wanting to apologize. I still feel like the scum mom of the year. |
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Understand completely. I have found myself over reacting on things as well and feel like shit after. Usually it all ends up ok in the end. My kids are actually my ex wife's kids, but I still consider mine as well. Her daughter lives with me. I get irritated once in a while, but for the most part she's good.... but she outgrew the 12 yr. old stuff! (now 19)
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You're a tired and stressed mom. You love her and she loves you. She's just growing up (and growing an attitude right now). 
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I have one wall of my bedroom covered in artwork that says, "I love you Papa" and "Your my favorite person", but when my oldest grand daughter started middle school that all ended.  And become their own little people. It's amazing, and hard at the same time. I still have her artwork all over my fridge. LOL
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I don't yell at my kids like this, I never have. I don't hit them. I don't really punish them. We have a lot of conversations. .... Ha...so you bought into that 1980's and 1990's bullshit about not spanking , not punishing kids.... I suppose you also rewarded them when they got 5th place ribbons or last place rewards at school,, I knew a woman through her texting and blogging on Friendfinder, a single woman, divorced, with a 13 yo daughter.... the woman was always on FF blogging or texting in the chat rooms complaining about how bratty her daughter is..... and she [the mother] being online, instead of with her kid was "Neglecting" her daughter....I didn't say anything, wasn't my place.... but in 3 years, at age 16, the daughter got pregnant and got into trouble with drugs, and had a mental breakdown. So this time I'm going to say something...You are neglecting your kid. You need to punish them, spank them... ground them... because this , "Talk and tell me if you understand what you did wrong"......is pure bullshit. You need to start making some changes , like getting off of here, and going back to parenting 24/7...... before it's too late. Because once they are in their teens.... it's too late.
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2/28/2020 4:58 am |
I have one wall of my bedroom covered in artwork that says, "I love you Papa" and "Your my favorite person", but when my oldest grand daughter started middle school that all ended.
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You're a tired and stressed mom. You love her and she loves you. She's just growing up (and growing an attitude right now). Pagan  Hmmmm....I know I left that wand around here somewhere!
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I don't yell at my kids like this, I never have. I don't hit them. I don't really punish them. We have a lot of conversations. .... Ha...so you bought into that 1980's and 1990's bullshit about not spanking , not punishing kids.... I suppose you also rewarded them when they got 5th place ribbons or last place rewards at school,, I knew a woman through her texting and blogging on Friendfinder, a single woman, divorced, with a 13 yo daughter.... the woman was always on FF blogging or texting in the chat rooms complaining about how bratty her daughter is..... and she [the mother] being online, instead of with her kid was "Neglecting" her daughter....I didn't say anything, wasn't my place.... but in 3 years, at age 16, the daughter got pregnant and got into trouble with drugs, and had a mental breakdown. So this time I'm going to say something...You are neglecting your kid. You need to punish them, spank them... ground them... because this , "Talk and tell me if you understand what you did wrong"......is pure bullshit. You need to start making some changes , like getting off of here, and going back to parenting 24/7...... before it's too late. Because once they are in their teens.... it's too late.
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kids r tough. u'll get through it we all do as parents.
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thanks for sharing we all have our days it's tough raising kids and, I have great appreciation for single heads of households I don't know thow they do it please don't beat yourself up you got this hmm Ringo Starr - "It Don't Come Easy" One, two, One, two, three, four! It don't come easy You know it don't come easy It don't come easy You know it don't come easy Got to pay your dues if you wanna sing the blues And you know it don't come easy You don't have to shout or leap about You can even play them easy Open up your heart, let's come together Use a little love And we will make it work out better I don't ask for much, I only want your trust And you know it don't come easy And this love of mine keeps growing all the time And you know it don't come easy
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2/28/2020 2:17 am |
to yell, belittle, punish constantly is just wrong... to lose it from time to time... just shows them their parents are human! wiser people that me have told me it is not the mistakes i make that leave the greatest impact, but the way i correct my mistakes that define me. there is a world of difference between insanity and stupidity
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She is usually a very good kid, we were all just having an emotionally charged night.
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It's understandable to lose your shit from time to time, and it sounds like you have good communication with your daughter most of the time, so I am sure if you talk it will get worked out. The problem is, my kids don't see me as someone who needs help because I'm usually the one taking care of everyone else. "You're mom, we go to you for help."
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2/28/2020 2:04 am |
I think that you are doing more right with children than you are doing wrong, in that when she is hurt and confused about life, inspite of having access to just about the whole world, she comes to you. Just keep doing what you are doing, seems like it is working fine from here. Not the Whole Truth but the truth that I can see.
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You're not the only one to feel this way. Good parents wonder all the time if they are doing the right thing. Given the chance to surprise you, I bet she will. Then, you will see that the kindness that you've shown as an example is what will stick with her when she has to make her own choices. Hang in there!
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Teenage girls are terrible to their mothers. You will start to like each other again around the time she is 24 or 25. Yikes. You'll be best friends then.
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Tough love is needed from time to time...Wakes them up to reality! 
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nah... it's all good wait till she... uhm and then she... never mind you'll figure it out. 👍
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2/27/2020 9:31 pm |
Part of being a parent. No biggie
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kids r tough. u'll get through it we all do as parents.
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thanks for sharing we all have our days it's tough raising kids and, I have great appreciation for single heads of households I don't know thow they do it please don't beat yourself up you got this hmm Ringo Starr - "It Don't Come Easy" One, two, One, two, three, four! It don't come easy You know it don't come easy It don't come easy You know it don't come easy Got to pay your dues if you wanna sing the blues And you know it don't come easy You don't have to shout or leap about You can even play them easy Open up your heart, let's come together Use a little love And we will make it work out better I don't ask for much, I only want your trust And you know it don't come easy And this love of mine keeps growing all the time And you know it don't come easy To leave private messages, please use my confidential mailbox at my blog: Good luck!!! 
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It's understandable to lose your shit from time to time, and it sounds like you have good communication with your daughter most of the time, so I am sure if you talk it will get worked out.
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You're not the only one to feel this way. Good parents wonder all the time if they are doing the right thing. Given the chance to surprise you, I bet she will. Then, you will see that the kindness that you've shown as an example is what will stick with her when she has to make her own choices. Hang in there!
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Teenage girls are terrible to their mothers. You will start to like each other again around the time she is 24 or 25. Yikes. You'll be best friends then.
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2/27/2020 6:40 pm |
Tough love is needed from time to time...Wakes them up to reality!
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nah... it's all good wait till she... uhm and then she... never mind you'll figure it out. 👍 ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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