A Couple of Thoughts
A few thoughts here and there
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Another Beautiful Day
Posted:Sep 20, 2020 8:30 am
Last Updated:Sep 22, 2020 7:29 pm

Its another beautiful day in Maine today. Perfect for getting outside and enjoying nature and it has offer us. Yesterday I went kayaking. We kayaked for a total of 5 miles and it was amazing! I think today feels like a hiking day!

I am currently sitting my back porch enjoying my second cup of coffee and soaking up the sun realizing how quickly summer has passed us by. There are still so many things I would like do before the snow flies!

Some ideas I have: I'd love go Acadia National Park and go hiking see the sun rise the mountain, go out Western Maine and see some more of the waterfalls I haven't yet seen, or go Moosehead Lake area and see a moose!

What are some of the things you have done this summer or would like do before the snow flies?
The hardest part
Posted:Sep 18, 2020 2:52 pm
Last Updated:Sep 20, 2020 8:07 am

The hardest part of living in the same house with the person married to but separated from (he's sleeping in our basement) is knowing he still thinks somehow magically things are going to go back to what they once were. Despite the fact that I have changed so much and my feelings for him now are as a friend, despite his lack of willingness to actually work on the problems we have had, and despite the thousands of conversations that have taken place about all of it, he still doesn't understand.

For various reasons my household situation cannot change at this point in time. I have thought of leaving over and over but I can't. So where does that leave me? On an adult site looking for what I can't/don't have here. Something between a casual hookup and a mutual respect filled friend type of relationship with someone I can spend time with doing the things I enjoy doing. Whether that's time online talking about mutual interests until we get to know one another, hanging out doing fun platonic things until we're comfortable with one another, and/or exploring our sexual side together until we drop.

Does that exist here? Who the fuck knows but again I will be as patient as I have to be to find out because after all what the hell else do I have to do? fbookhookups.com will probably omit words from this post because of all the glitches so I hope it makes enough sense. lol
An fbookhookups.com Question...
Posted:Sep 16, 2020 4:20 pm
Last Updated:Sep 18, 2020 12:41 pm

When someone messages you and says they like your profile yet they don't show up as someone who has "viewed you" what does that mean? Has anyone had experience with this?
I'm not trying...
Posted:Sep 12, 2020 2:33 pm
Last Updated:Sep 15, 2020 1:48 pm

Im not trying be rude. Honestly, Im not. Which is why Im addressing it in a blog post (for those who bother read the blogs) instead of trying answer people individually in messages (that would take a while).

I mentioned in my profile introduction that I know what I want (aka what Im looking for) and that I have the patience wait for it. I cant express enough how much I mean that. If Im not responding your there's something about your or your profile that doesn't interest .

Here are a few examples: if you have no picture at I won't answer. It doesn't have be a picture of your face. It doesn't have be a cock pic. I actually never used answer those who had only pictures of their cock but now that it's just here, and well let's face it, this is an adult site, Im cool with that now. 😉

Age: Im looking for someone between the age of 38 and 52. (There are exceptions this. I would consider older than 52 if its someone who has taken good care of themselves). I have my reasons for having this preference and it's not that I have anything against anyone on either side of this age range. I just don't feel like it would be a good match for me at this time.

Another example is that even though this IS an adult site I prefer be approached without the creepy hitting a woman kind of shit that you wouldn't even see in the sleeziest type of dive bars. Yeah my pictures may be somewhat suggestive but they could be worse (now that I've deleted some) but that doesn't mean we gotta jump right into "Hey wanna fuck?" Let's keep it somewhat classy, k? At least at first. 😉

So I've said my peace, please don't take any of it personal. It's strictly about preference. I really appreciate people who can carry an intelligent conversation that could potentially turn into something exciting and sexual.
A Great Weekend
Posted:Sep 8, 2020 11:23 am
Last Updated:Sep 20, 2020 3:48 pm

Labor Day weekend was a lot of fun! The weather was beautiful, and I took full advantage! I was able to spend time with a friend Sunday kayaking in my new kayak (I am so in love with this thing) and when we were finished I went again with a few family members! I have say I love Maine living and although this COVID situation has been difficult in so many ways, it has brought one blessing my life... It has pushed closer nature and gotten out into the great outdoors. I have enjoyed exploring the woods hiking this summer in the mountains, as always my time the ocean, and now kayaking! Who knows what other adventures await! I'm excited explore. 😊
Back in the swing of things... definitely not a pun intended.
Posted:Sep 2, 2020 4:49 pm
Last Updated:Sep 3, 2020 7:34 am

Seasons change...

That's my intro and wow have they ever since my last post. Granted That's been nearly 2 years ago so you'd hope things would change, right?

The good news is most things have changed for the better since then. My insurance was finally reinstated, and I have been addressing all of the issues I was facing with my health. Additionally, I have been working really hard at making some MAJOR lifestyle changes which has dramatically improved my health situation. Home life also is less chaotic and stressful in many ways since my last post.

But, with the good comes the bad and unfortunately in the wake of all of my positive changes I have made one thing hasn't seemed to survive... my marriage. This has been a slow and at times painful process but it's been coming for a long time. He and I still get along. We still share a residence (just not a bed, or even a bedroom). This will change in time. We have logistics to work out. Emotionally, physically, sexually, in all ways that matter though... we are no longer a couple.

Thanks for reading and welcome (back) to my blog!
1 comment
Life is hard
Posted:Oct 26, 2018 10:33 pm
Last Updated:Nov 6, 2018 10:10 pm

Things go so well... Until they just don't.

It's been a while since I've written. Mostly because I haven't had anything really great to share, and I was taught early on if I didn't have anything nice to say, I shouldn't say anything at all. Well, I've been doing some thinking about that lately. It doesn't make for a very genuine blog if I only share about the good stuff. I'm sure most people only want to hear/read about the good stuff so **disclaimer** Stop reading now if you're in this only for the roses, rainbows, and unicorns (see what I did there? Heh)

Life is hard. Damn hard. I heard recently on a news story that it's full of ups and downs because if it wasn't it would be a flat line which signifies death, not life. *Insert mental image of an EKG waveform* Clever. I'd have to say these days I'm experiencing more of the Q and S waves with maybe a few P's here and there.

First and foremost, my health has not been great. I've been struggling for several months now with Vertigo combined off and on with nausea. As if that wasn't bad enough, more recently I began having neck pain that started spreading down my right shoulder, arm, and upper right side back/shoulder blade. Soon after the pain started, I developed a tremors in my right hand. After seeing a neurologist, an order was put in for an MRI. I was informed that all of my symptoms may be related and pending the results of the MRI I may be looking at surgery.

Concurrently, I found out that I had lost my health insurance. So, no MRI until I can get that sorted out. The pain, at times, is unbearable. My doctors have said I am unable to return to work at least until January and even at that point I will be on bending restrictions. That isn't sitting well with my HR department and it appears I will be losing my job.

Things are stressful and tense here at home. We have family members currently staying with us who are here temporarily until they can find their own place. They have two small and things are chaotic at best. We have a total of 5 adults and 2 in a small 3 bedroom 1 bath house. Financially we are struggling. The holidays are just around the corner.

Some days I feel I am barely holding it together. The stress seems to be affecting our marriage no matter how much I am trying not to let it.

Maybe writing about it will help. Maybe not.
Posted:Sep 23, 2018 8:09 pm
Last Updated:Oct 24, 2018 12:44 am

Yes, it's a thing. I just learned about it today and I'm super excited that it's something that exists and something people celebrate!

It isn't something that I can say that I openly share about myself in my everyday life with just anyone. I mean let's face it even though we've come a long way with acceptance around these things, society hasn't exactly embraced the LGBT community as a whole. I am, after all, a married woman and as far as most people in my regular every day life know, hubby and I don't engage in anything other than the usual monogamous vanilla type sex life. However, the people I trust with this information about myself, are celebrating this day and all that is amazing about it, with me.
One of the best nights EVER!
Posted:Sep 16, 2018 2:02 pm
Last Updated:Sep 21, 2018 9:02 am

Last night we attended our first large scale meet and greet for couples (and a few singles) in the lifestyle, and I have to tell you it was absolutely fan fucking tastic! It was, to a tee, exactly what we have been looking for in terms of getting to know people and what to expect when those who partake in this lifestyle get together. We met some of the sweetest, most accepting, open, genuine, non-judgemental people we have ever met before and I felt like I finally found the place where I belonged.

There were lots of people/couples from the lifestyle there and for the most part everyone had nothing but love for one another. There was no drama, no games, and no bull shit. There was kindness, caring, and just an overall sense of community amongst everyone. I was impressed beyond belief.

The bar was lots of fun! It was in a beach town with lots of people, lots of alcohol, lots of laughing, and lots of dancing! The live band was amazing! However, my favorite part of the night was kissing the sexiest most beautiful woman there. She was hot and amazingly gorgeous and the way she kissed me solidified my intense desire to be with, taste, and please another woman. When we were kissing and touching I lost all awareness of anything and anyone else that was around me. She was my focus. I wanted and want so much more of that experience.

As the night went on, and people began leaving the bar, hubby and I were invited to join an after party get together at one of the group member's hotel rooms, so after a quick stop for pizza, a group of us went to the room to hangout, chat, and have fun! It was truly an amazing experience. (No sex taking place. This, for us, was more about getting to know people first). Good things come to those who wait, right?

Hubby and I spent the night at a hotel down the road from where everyone else was staying so we had to leave before the after party was over... But that's okay. We didn't want to overstay our welcome either. Just can't say enough how much fun we had.
Posted:Sep 6, 2018 8:27 pm
Last Updated:Sep 18, 2020 11:54 am

I do like to write, but sometimes other people's writing, especially in lyric form, can explain my thoughts and feelings better than even I can...

Thank you Taylor Swift for this one:


This ain't for the best
My reputation's never been worse, so
You must like me for me...
We can't make
Any promises now, can we, babe?
But you can make me a drink...

Dive bar on the east side, where you at?
Phone lights up my nightstand in the black
Come here, you can meet me in the back
Dark jeans and your Nikes, look at you
Oh damn, never seen that color blue
Just think of the fun things we could do

'Cause I like you
This ain't for the best
My reputation's never been worse, so
You must like me for me...
Yeah, I want you
We can't make
Any promises now, can we, babe?
But you can make me a drink...

Is it cool that I said all that?
Is it chill that you're in my head?
'Cause I know that it's delicate (delicate)
Is it cool that I said all that
Is it too soon to do this yet?
'Cause I know that it's delicate
Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it?
Isn't it?
Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it?
Isn't it?

Third floor on the west side, me and you
Handsome, you're a mansion with a view
Do the girls back home touch you like I do?
Long night, with your hands up in my hair
Echoes of your footsteps on the stairs
Stay here, honey, I don't wanna share

'Cause I like you
This ain't for the best
My reputation's never been worse, so
You must like me for me
Yeah, I want you
We can't make
Any promises now, can we, babe?
But you can make me a drink

Is it cool that I said all that?
Is it chill that you're in my head?
'Cause I know that it's delicate (delicate)
Is it cool that I said all that
Is it too soon to do this yet?
'Cause I know that it's delicate
Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it?
Isn't it?
Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it?
Isn't it?

Sometimes I wonder when you sleep
Are you ever dreaming of me?
Sometimes when I look into your eyes
I pretend you're mine, all the damn time
'Cause I like you

Is it cool that I said all that?
Is it chill that you're in my head?
'Cause I know that it's delicate (delicate)
Yeah, I want you
Is it cool that I said all that
Is it too soon to do this yet?
'Cause I know that it's delicate (delicate)
'Cause I like you
Is it cool that I said all that?
(Isn't it?)
Is it chill that you're in my head?
(Isn't it? Isn't it?)
'Cause I know that it's delicate
(Isn't it?)
Yeah, I want you
Is it cool that I said all that
(Isn't it?)
Is it too soon to do this yet?
(Isn't it? Isn't it?)
'Cause I know that it's delicate
(Isn't it?)
1 comment
Sexual Orientation
Posted:Sep 5, 2018 8:29 am
Last Updated:Sep 2, 2020 7:44 pm

"Are you sure you're not a lesbian?"

That's a question I was asked once when talking to someone in a chatroom ago about my intense attraction to other women. I laughed a little and began to explain to this person what I had learned about my own sexuality and how I came to identify as mostly straight with bi-tendencies.

As a young girl of about nine I was what my mother called "boy crazy." I wasn't sexual but I had crushes on all the boys in the neighborhood. I had my first kiss with a boy, my biggest crush, playing spin the bottle in my basement during my 10th birthday party. I always knew that I liked boys. It was never a question in my mind.

I first realized my interest in girls at the age of twelve when I was in gym class and I saw one of my classmates in her bra and panties and I couldn't stop staring. I felt all kinds of things, good and bad, but I pushed it out of my mind.

My first experience with a girl happened a year later at the age of thirteen. Although I had also had other sexual experiences with boys at this point (not actual intercourse but touching, oral, etc) the vast majority of my experience seemed to be happening with this one girl who lived next door to me. We were inseparable for an entire summer. We never considered ourselves girlfriends just playmates. We experimented and learned a lot about ourselves and about each other then her family moved away before the school year started.

At fourteen I became full on sexually active with guys. The girl thing seemed to have not been as interesting to me anymore. not sure if it was personal preference or lack of social acceptance during that time but it just wasn't something I thought about. I was back to being boy crazy and also as I recall my mother added, "fickle" to my descriptors.

At some point in my twenties I started looking at women and thinking about them in a sexual way again. It was much more intense though. I sought out information online and found the chat scene. I met women in person and enjoyed experiences with them. As I shared in a previous blog I got to be the unicorn in a FFM threesome as well as had two threesomes with FFM while in a committed relationship.

The way I knew the answer to that original question was because once upon a time someone had asked me, "When thinking about a man and thinking about a woman which of the two do you see not being able to be without in some capacity?" The answer for me was always a man. I love the soft sensual touch of a woman. I love the way she looks, feels, smells, tastes... but when it comes down to choosing between the two, if I absolutely had to, my choice is always going to be a man.

That's how I know not a lesbian.
Baby Steps
Posted:Sep 4, 2018 3:06 pm
Last Updated:Sep 3, 2020 5:57 am

Hubby and I met with our first couple this past weekend. Things were low key with no expectations and all went well. Conversation flowed nicely and the hosts were a lovely couple that were very easy to get along with.

This meeting prompted a conversation between hubby and I regarding what we would be comfortable exploring when the right moment came along. Although we had discussed the idea of playing with another couple if and when the right time came, hubby stated that he didn't believe he would ever be okay with me having sex with another man. I wanted to make sure we both were on the same page so I asked him the following questions (and I will follow up with his answers to me):

All play between me and the other woman would be okay? Yes

If I am in the room and involved, and the other husband wants it, all play between you and the other woman is okay? Yes

If the other couple is in the room and me and the other woman play with one another and then the couples each have sex with their own partners? Yes

If the other couple is in the room and the two women play and each of the men can touch the other's wives (no penetration)? Yes

Do you think if you became comfortable with a particular couple that could ever change? Maybe, I don't know.

That is where we are at this point. Baby steps. I won't push him further than what he's ready for though. That could be a big mistake. I think this is an okay start. I truly believe that if he meets couples and hears their experiences he will become more open to it.
Self Care
Posted:Aug 29, 2018 7:08 pm
Last Updated:Sep 18, 2020 11:55 am

Time for a little pampering and self care! Getting hair and (hopefully) nails done on Friday, bought a new outfit complete with a sexy bra and panty set, have a fun (unpressured) night planned for Friday night with hubby and another couple, and then going away Saturday and Sunday night camping with my bestest friend, and his family. Haven't seen them in a few years so I'm super excited. Another one of our friends will be coming up for the day on Sunday as well. It should be a great weekend.

We all need those every once in a while.

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Most Recent Comments by Others

Post Poster Post Date
Another Beautiful Day (7)Kayak_Playmate
Sep 21, 2020 1:50 pm
The hardest part (18)Nudist47
Sep 18, 2020 9:37 pm
Intentions and Expectations (4)anal6ns
Sep 18, 2020 4:17 pm
An AFF Question... (33)ltrskr
Sep 17, 2020 7:42 am
A Great Weekend (10)Breathless_smile
Sep 15, 2020 9:15 pm
I'm not trying... (9)Brownie202
Sep 12, 2020 6:35 pm
Life is hard (10)forgotforgetting
Oct 31, 2018 2:02 pm
HAPPY BISEXUALITY DAY (13)Deepdicker692012
Oct 9, 2018 5:41 am
One of the best nights EVER! (11)Deepdicker692012
Sep 21, 2018 6:20 am
Sexual Orientation (11)bitchkitty2017
Sep 5, 2018 9:17 am
Baby Steps (8)benard69
Sep 4, 2018 3:26 pm