Paul's Place ...❗⭕❗⭕❗ ⭕ ❗ ⭕
◀️ (kLik the piC)

The vibe is chill.
But the weather is hot...
... vodka pineapple slushies
and other drinks in the fridge.

Silence... is loaded with answers...
(* ©April 2018-20 May Paul P. )
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My Private Mail Box 📌 🕖
Posted:Jul 12, 2018 9:41 am
Last Updated:May 23, 2020 10:17 am
My Private Mail Box 📩 ....
Do you have something to share? Send me a private message.
🍸 ☕
(kLik the Ram)
0 Comments , 53 Pending
Is A Blog With No Purpose… Still A Blog?  *Site specific really hot sex pic included 😋
Posted:May 26, 2020 11:11 am
Last Updated:May 28, 2020 10:58 am
*NOTE: This blog post has no purpose other than to amuse and squander people’s time. READ at your own risk ! I have included a random sex pic; to make sure it is - ‘Site Specific’

Before I began working from home - in the days prior to that ‘social distance quota’ - I used to share a space and speak with people from work. I recall one time… 

Mike had stomped into our office lunchroom. Someone mistakenly asked him what was wrong. “What's in a word?” he angrily replied to anyone who was willing to listen. “Bitch, slut, ; they're just words - right? Should they reeelee have been brought up in the fucking custody hearing? Her lawyer thought so - the prick.”

We all looked at each other and shrugged. 

That cafeteria is a place where many come to vent. I recall the day Veronica clamped down on a huge submarine sandwich and tried to chew. I thought she'd choke. Eventually she spoke - as she wiped the mayonnaise from the corners of her mouth. “Some folks don't like what they see when they look into a mirror and I get it. But why take it out on OTHER people? Just break the fricken mirror. That’s what I do.” 

I was sitting next to Linda one time, when she turned and told me about the training meeting I’d missed. She described the guy who sat next to her; he was bored and fervently texted his girlfriend. The guest speaker noticed that guy’s distraction, grabbed the phone out of his hands and threw it against the wall - shattering it into pieces. “Never lend your damn phone to anyone.” she glared. 

The topic of love comes up often. The company ‘Accountants Payable Clerk’ (a poor and hopeless romantic) was madly in love - and in a long distance relationship - once. He told us how he couldn’t afford to call her but he wrote to her every single day... for two years. “She never received any of them,” he admitted sadly. We asked him how he knew and he replied; “Well, you get a better deal when you ship things in bulk. They returned that box to me - ‘address unknown’. 

I think I’m open-minded and we were all sharing our thoughts. However Ferdinand – the IT guy - was pretty blunt when he declared to us that he could NEVER have a girlfriend without any legs. He pointed out there’d be no point in calling her – she’d never come. Ferdinand is a funny guy.

Lunch hours do pass quicker when they open their mouths. I don’t really miss them all THAT much. They can get on my nerves eventually, but they do provide me with fodder for thought. And who doesn’t like fodder?
*NOTE: This blog had no purpose other than to amuse and generate a discussion on lunches. Alone or in the office; do you give a shit about them? Lunches … I mean. Or… talk amongst yourselves…  😊
Prayers and Swearing... May Help You Find Your Life Partner... 😮
Posted:May 19, 2020 11:04 am
Last Updated:May 24, 2020 3:53 am
Have you ever experienced panic; the type that takes your breath away, stalls your heart and squeezes the blood out of your head? It will grip your balls (or ovaries) in a vice – and won’t let go. That’s the type of hell I went through yesterday. Yet… it all began as a casual walk - down by the lake.

I flung my knapsack quickly over my shoulders, locked the car doors and trudged down towards the grassy path and to the old convent – hugging that inlet over to my left. The sun beamed brightly in the clean blue sky as a fresh breeze blew in from the open water.  I walked with a purpose; to get some exercise. The grounds were littered with people sprawled and promenading everywhere.

My usual routine was to hike around the old windmill, past the school, over to the marina and then across the soccer field and back to where I started from. The distance varies, but usually it would be three miles or so. Halfway through my jaunt – I paused to take a sip of water and that’s… when I noticed it.

There are five zippers on my rucksack and they were all closed – except for the one where I had placed my cell phone. It was open and my phone was nowhere to be found. “Oh… for fucks sake,” I thought to myself, “This couldn’t be”. Anyone who knows me knows how I love to brag about my stupid cell device; ‘It’s got the 'scratch ‘n sniff' option. It can power a small village in Africa. It can do anything a full sized computer can do. Blah, blah, blah’.  I’m sure some of you are sick of hearing me brag about the damn thing. Well… my fucking phone - my ‘life partner’ - was lost.  Yep… That’s the moment I turned white and panicked.

I’d been walking for close to an hour in that packed park; I didn’t loose a second. Fervently, I began retracing my steps exactly as I remembered them – all the while peering eagerly and nervously at the ground. My theory was; if I looked concerned enough, perhaps the person who found it would notice and walk up to me (smiling) and gift me, my precious piece of electronics. Dreams do come true – don’t they?  No such fricken luck. My imagination and the horror of what I’d done, gripped my throat, as I pictured the consequences of my stupidity.

Over two thousand pictures in storage – including my dick pics – were the LEAST of my concerns. I was still logged on to 'A F F' and I hadn’t bothered to lock my phone. All of my passwords - to everything - were available to anyone.  My electronic credit cards were visible and of course - I owed the phone company a substantial amount of money for the balance of the lease on that brand new piece of lost hardware! I prayed, if there was a God or any Higher Deity - He or She would forgive some of my transgressions and help me locate my dear lifeline. As I eventually approached the parking lot (and my car), I was sad, depressed and beside myself with anguish over my dumb carelessness. How could I have been so stupid? And then…

As I neared my car, I spied a black rectangular thingy lying five feet from my door – right next to a parked motorcycle. “Was it? Could it be?“, I screamed in my head. “There’s my fucking phone,”  intact, unbroken, unharmed and waiting - for me to pick it up. I don’t think you can imagine my joy, my disbelief - my utter happiness. It must have fallen out of my knapsack when I flipped it over my shoulders. What a HUGE relief!

Unfortunately, I won’t be on this site as often as I used to be. I’ve made some promises I have to keep and I don’t believe my church permits cell phone use on sex sites, during the thrice daily services.

Naked and Reading This?... 8 OTHER Things You Can Do... To Make A Difference... 😊
Posted:May 14, 2020 11:00 am
Last Updated:May 25, 2020 8:33 am
I wanted to do something to help - in these viral times - so I searched on line, for places where I could volunteer.

My town has the highest rates for that global bug , in Canada. The poorer boroughs in this city are even harder hit and Montreal North is a place that's been hit hard. But when I read the Red Cross had put out a desperate plea for aid in that stricken neighbourhood, I looked at myself and said; "Yes..."

"... that's the last fucking place I want to volunteer right now!"

I continued scrolling down that web page; I'm not an idiot ya know.

I do what I can do. I choose to measure my risks and follow a more prudent path. Amongst the items on - 'My Done List' (culled from the web) - are things that EVERYONE can try.


1. Check on your neighbour:
Every time I walk by her door, I can't smell anything rotting - so I 'know' she's 'still' alive.

2. Explore Virtual Volunteering;
Which I just shared with you; I 'virtually' explored Montreal North and... moved on.

3. Practice Efficiency;
I limit trips to the grocery store by being economical. I'm up to cans dated 2016 - in my pantry - and it's going quite well. I've only been sick once... or twice.

4. Give blood;
I did 'that' the other day day. I sliced my finger cutting an onion. You should have seen all the damn blood.

5. Make a ;
Done... I just hope - 'Help The NBA Players Who Are Making Less Than TWO Million Dollars A Year Foundation' - can put my five bucks, to good use.

6. Be a leader;
Yes... that's me! The other day, I berated two people who - weren't practising 'social distancing' and - were kissing and making out in public. Found out later that they've been married for fifty-nine years.
Who fricken knew?

7. Remember Your Front Line Workers;
This one is dear to me. I sent an emoji heart
to my niece - who's a nurse. That should help her with those twelve hour days she's pulling in ICU. Yep...

8. Take care of yourself;
Staying healthy is important. So I don't drink anymore. Of course... I don't drink any less either.


And there you have it. Eight steps you can take to do your part during this difficult period in Earth's history. Perhaps I'm not a philanthropist yet but I'm taking baby steps. Now if only I had a hundred billion bucks; I'd go on CNN and tell people how to really run this planet.

How many items on this list can you check off?

*NOTE: This virus thing is NOT a joke.
This post... WAS.
The Origins of Great Porn... It All Began On This Island... 😎
Posted:May 12, 2020 11:21 am
Last Updated:May 15, 2020 10:52 pm
I’m getting tired of talking about it and listening to others grumble on about it. Yet – it’s the first thing that anyone mentions. Rest assured, I won’t comment on it - here.

I’ve stopped following the News. They're stuck on reporting all the 'crazy ass' stupidity going on everywhere. They should do what the rest of the TV entertainment world is doing; and play a classic re-run. Can you recall a 'good news' day you'd sit through - again?

Have you noticed there’s fuck all to watch on the sports channels? Except (of course) for repeats of games where we know the final score, before it starts.  Vegas bookies (surprisingly) are making tons of money off ‘jonesing’ gamblers, who are betting that somehow - that game ended differently.

I'll admit I acquire a certain inner peace; assured that Tiger made the putt, before he even stroked it. Golf is the only athletic diversion I consistently tolerate. Perhaps because the objective of the player – is to put it in a hole?

Did you hear about that young driver in Toronto (over the weekend) who was clocked doing over 190 miles per hour on an inner city freeway? A gaggle of Canadian police were impressed enough to politely flag him down, impound his car and interview him.

Damn… Ya figure the ’s father woulda thrown him the keys to the fricken station wagon instead?

Which ‘on line’ porn provider do you use? Over the weekend I was on MY favourite site; the most popular one on the planet – ‘Porn Hub’. And if you're on that space, we have something in common.

You/Me/We - are ALL linked ; to The City of Montreal.

‘Porn Hub’ was founded HERE back in 2007. You’re welcome!

Let's bond when you're in the mood. Think of me, next time you - click that 'Hub of Porn' - unbuckle your belts or lower your panties. Or better yet... let's NOT. It's supposed to be a private moment, isn't it?

Let me know, if neuropsychological... thought projection... is just a theory.
In other words - try NOT to think of me. I dare you. lol
I Have Insider Information... About Who Runs This Web Site... You Will Be Shocked... 😮
Posted:May 2, 2020 9:43 am
Last Updated:May 27, 2020 10:58 pm
I have the inside scoop on why things HERE - run the way they do. A video call to the Bobs - CIO and CEO of 'A F F' - and voilà ; ALL... was revealed to me.

Last Friday, I cam called 'The Bobs' private number - via ZOOM. They've been quarantined at 'A F F' headquarters - together now - for the last seven weeks and were VERY happy to hear my voice. We talked about the virus and their families and mine... and then, they both started dipping into the scotch. I was plowing forward with my vodka, pineapple slushies. Things were rolling along comfortably and we all had a warm buzz on when we got down to some serous business ; I asked the HARD question.

"Bob... What the fuck is wrong with the 'A F F' website?"

One of the Bobs (I still can't tell who's who), stumbled forward and blurted his answer to me. Actually - it was more of a confession.

"Paul... We experimented with new technology but we fucked up. We've been using trained monkeys to manage all our IT infrastructure."

I was in shock. I'd never heard of trained monkeys managing computer software or hardware. Supposedly the Chinese had recommended this technology to the Bobs - and, they bought it. Bob continued with his explanation...

"Paul... Blame the fucking monkeys. Those assholes write the HTML script, update all the bugs and manage everything related to how this place performs on the web," Bob continued.

Now... we've all experienced the issues that plague this place. From non existent performance on IM to the interminable delays between blog post visibility and comments as well as to the lost and deleted words and letters - missing in every post ; including THIS one.

Turns out it has nothing to do with lack of investment in new technology or aging servers with poor web design and ancient computer code...

It is solely due to - poorly trained monkeys.

One of the Bobs, admitted that they were attempting to get their money back. But the Chinese, weren't answering their phones. So... we're all stuck with this mess for an indefinite period of time.

I was about to ask why, they decided to cancel the popular - "Ice Breaker Program". Unfortunately, one of the Bobs had to run to the bathroom to throw up and the other, had fallen off his chair and was having difficulty standing up.

I left it at that, with a promise from him ; they would keep trying their best. We toasted to freedom and social distancing and I ended the cam call with renewed respect for our leaders - over at HQ. At least, they are trying their best.

Is there anything more one can expect?
. ..
You Have to Wash Your Balls... Once In A While 😊
Posted:Apr 28, 2020 12:41 pm
Last Updated:May 10, 2020 7:27 am
I listened a conversation the other day...

"He's gripping down on his shaft, Tom," she murmured.

"Is his shaft stiffer than normal Lori? And his head - looks huge ! Do you think that'll benefit him here?" Tom replied inquisitively.

"Well... let's face it - he's got incredible length," Lori added admiringly. "That little bit of extra, will definitely help."

"His shaft does, seem very stiff... and longer than average," Tom agreed.

"It is, but his grip is soft and his stroke is smooth."

Seconds passed... until her voice soothingly whispered again ; "I can see their balls from where I am. They're perfectly positioned and they look very good but... they're all wet."

"It looks extremely moist down there. Will that affect him?" Tom inquired.

"I'm pretty sure, he's used to this. I think he'll know how to get it up and in - even in slippery conditions."

A minute more passed, before I heard Lori's sultry tone again. "They're on the mound and they've been able to clean their balls. The challenge now will be... how to handle those gentle humps."

"Good point Lori. Although sneaking it in the back door, is something that I've seen him do - many times."

"He's got a choice to try and bang it in the bac.. or slip it in... gently. And I don't think he'll mind, either way it gets in," Lori suggested.

"Good point Lori. He'll be satisfied, no matter how it gets in ."

"That's true Tom, yet every hole should be respected. And you don't want to shave it too close," Lori affirmed. "Here he goes. Oh... and... it slowly leaked down the right side of the hole and dribbled by."

"Well... he pulled it. We just watched him jerk it."

"He got it close to the hole, then it kissed the lip and slipped out. I must say... this threesome is still smiling and having fun. They've just begun to and the next hole, will be an easy one reach," Lori declared.

"It's the easiest par on a very, very hard course Lori. I played a round here last week and I'll admit ; I only hit two good balls. I accidentally stepped on a rake."

I listened... as Lori choked, on her microphone.
. ..
Dick And Jane... Played A Game... 🔥💦😮
Posted:Apr 23, 2020 10:54 am
Last Updated:May 10, 2020 7:28 am
Part of my 'Eezzee Reed Series' ; for those who find words tiresome.
Plenty of pics though.
👍 😶

Dick and Jane had safely camped in their house - during the 'great confinement'. They were creative yet occasionally, boredom, tried to peer in. And that's when Jane looked at Dick and smiled slyly. He knew, what SHE wanted HIM to do.

See Dick.
See Dick run.
Run Dick run.
Run to the table Dick.
Run to that 'special' table in the basement,
get naked and lie down.

See Jane
Run Jane run.
Run up to the table Jane.
Tie naked Dick,
with the leather and chain bindings.
See Jane grin a wicked grin.
See Jane Tighten the straps and watch...
... as Dick's cock...
... got rock hard.

There would be no mercy for Dick - even if he begged.
Jane might not let him cum, even if Dick's dick, twitched and throbbed in anguished delirium ; even if Dick pleaded.

"Are you ready babe?" Jane asked as she began to play with Dick.

Dick trembled as Jane's feathered crop...
brushed his balls...
and her fingers painted circles,
around the tip of his already glistening cock.

How long would Dick last?
A better question was ; how long would Jane let him last? 🤔

Ahhh... boredom ; the bane of our current confined existence - for some.
For others? Let the games begin.

*Note : Clic the pic to enlarge it.

. ..
The New Normal Depends... On What You Wear... 😮😎
Posted:Apr 20, 2020 10:53 am
Last Updated:May 5, 2020 11:52 am
These days - normal doesn't exist. Yet one can always create a facsimile, if you know what you're doing. And I do.

Now, you shouldn't try any of this where you live ; I am - a trained professional.

My 'new' typical day begins, as I slip on my (Amazon advertised) 'Special Anti-Viral Suit' and head out the door. That morning, a quick drive down barren streets found me at my mechanic's shop. He'd opened his doors - and happily agreed to change my winter tires for the summer ones. Except for his German Sheppard - who kept sniffing my crotch and trying to hump my leg - everything went smoothly.

When I got back into the car, I felt free... like you'd feel when you ditch your glumpy boots and put on a pair of runners - after a long winter. The car OBVIOUSLY, drove substantially faster and was much more agile. Was that simply my dormant, winterized imagination overreacting? I think not!

As I roared towards my next errand - along empty highways and through non existent rush hour traffic - I marvelled at the open roads. I'll admit that the lack of ANY gridlock on the byways of this city ( a casualty of this 'worldly bug' ), is something that I relish. Did I mention that my car was more nimble? Before long I'd arrived at my grocer.

The line up was intense yet people parted to let me through. Which come to think of it - was rather strange. I felt a sense of respect and awe from those shoppers, as I trudged along the aisles of random fruits and vegetables. And then, I noticed HER - leaning up against a bin of potatoes.

She'd come prepared, dressed - head to toe - in black vinyl and we acknowledged each other from a safe distance. I couldn't tell but I think she smiled as she asserted her website name ; "Domme De Louise". I promised her I'd check it out when I got back home.

Upon exiting with my supplies, there would be another quick jaunt to my lakeside refuge - and some quiet time. As I stepped out of my car and onto the shore to marvel at the view, others - who were there - frantically scurried back into their cars. And then... it dawned on me.

In these times (as in any) ; it's the clothes that make the man. Or is it the man who makes the clothes?

When I arrived home a zipper on my suit, was stuck ; took me an hour to get out of that freakin' thing. But besides that - everything is perfectly normal over here. Ya just gotta know how to dress.

*Note : Clic on the pics to enlarge them...
. ..
How Will You Celebrate... Cake and Cunnilingus Day... 🤔👅
Posted:Apr 14, 2020 4:19 pm
Last Updated:May 10, 2020 7:31 am
'Cake and Cunnilingus Day' ; is a REAL event. It was created as a response to ; Steak & BJ Day, which itself was created as a response to Valentine’s Day.

Today, women are to be treated not only to the cake of their choice - but also to the special oral attention of their lover. This day should be one of the sweetest days for women, out of the entire year. Cunnilingus Day - simple, straightforward and flying the flag for females worldwide.

Let's face it - cake is damn delicious. And petting pussies is fun but eating one (I'm told), feels incredible for her. Does it? And for men... what's more fun than watching her squirm and squiggle as her thighs clamp your head and she begins to shudder and moan. Eighty percent of women can reach an orgasm through clitoral stimulation. Plunge a finger in her pinkness and challenge yourself to caress her 'G-spot'. THEN, watch her melt into a sublime quivering mush.

Can you participate in today's climate?

Even if you can't connect with your partner today - after the 'veil of distancing' is all over - you can STILL give her this gift. I mean... I've gotten presents late and long after 'special' days have passed. I'm sure she'll appreciate it!

Are you a fan of giving or receiving that intimate lick?

*This info was culled from the web.
I Called Her... By Your Name... 🌹
Posted:Apr 10, 2020 7:59 pm
Last Updated:Apr 20, 2020 6:52 am
I phoned my sister-in-law today ; just to see how things were going. And while we were talking, I called her, by YOUR name - twice.

My brother's wife is a fun woman to talk with. She's intelligent and quick. I'd asked her about a recipe... and trivia... and I shared my tiny rant about shopping. Her replies flowed back, then finally concluded as she paused, and asked me a question

"Who's Debra?"

And it dawned on me ; I don't know. I've never met you. But, you're always on my mind. Are you just an illusion?

. ..
You Never Know... Who You Will Meet... Or Where 😯
Posted:Apr 7, 2020 10:18 am
Last Updated:Apr 18, 2020 4:30 pm
Once upon a time - before the veil of the 'great confinement' - it was Happy Hour...

I was in a dark, downtown bar with a friend from work ; commiserating and sharing a few laughs. Vodka slushies were on my menu, rye with a beer chaser - on his. We'd just been served when a man, wearing a rather shabby costume strode in. We watched (in curiosity), as he walked up to the bartender - sat down at one of the stools - then spoke to him.

"Do you have any jobs?"

The bartender - who'd been wiping the counter - turned, eyed the man in the suit and slowly replied, "Why don't you try, the circus."

"Why the fuck would a circus, need a bartender?" smirked the dog.

That dog, had a good point. He waited for a reply from the bartender ; who had already put his rag down and placed his hands on his hips. THEY, were suddenly interrupted. A priest, a rabbi and a minister had bustled into our darkened space and cozied up to the vacant stools - next to the dog. The bartender looked at the piously dressed men, then shook his head and spoke.

"What is this? Some kind of fucking joke?"

But before another word could be spoken - SHE stumbled in. She was beautiful and blonde and that woman had walked into our blackness, clutched the stool - right next to the minister - and plopped down. You can imagine how ALL of us - the bartender, that dog, the priest, the rabbi, the minister and my buddy and I - waited with baited breath ; to hear what that beautiful blonde lady, would say.

"I'll have a cold beer please," she announced as she straightened her skirt and fluffed her hair.

I had expected something funnier.

Later on - after we'd invited her to our table and talked - we discovered that she was dyslexic. Yet even though doctors had told her she'd NEVER be good at poetry, she proudly claimed to have made ; a vase, a pot and several bowls - and was quite satisfied with the results. Did she say poetry?

"Hmmm... Go figure," I thought to myself.

You just never know who you'll meet, unless you go out and meet them. That's, as profound as I'd get ; it was time for another slushie. Damn, they were going down easy that night.

As I raised my hand to place my order - once again - the door to that bar flung open and flashed a hazy white light ; from the outside world. You wouldn't believe me if I told you who walked in...

. ..
Shared Space... A Different Reality... 🌹
Posted:Apr 2, 2020 11:00 am
Last Updated:May 17, 2020 2:45 am
Once upon a time...

Many of us live in our own rendition of reality. We're oblivious anyone else's ; even though, we might share the same space with them. On that day - amongst the clutter and din - I noticed someone else's truth, as I sat there.

I was in one of my favorite burger restaurants : the place was packed with people. It usually was, on 'Two for Tuesdays', where - you guessed it - any meal on the menu was ; two, for the price of one.

Joining me were friends. We had spread a variety of bulging burgers, fries and crispy onion rings and ice cold soft drinks - across every available inch... of that tiny square table. We had enough food and calories stacked, feed a family of eight. We'd accomplished our goal - getting our money's worth - and so had everyone else in that brimming restaurant. Loud groups of men, women and - cheerfully enjoyed their gluttony. 

I was chomping through my food when I noticed a dark haired man (my age), walk gingerly towards the only empty table - the one in the far corner. He wore a long grey, rumpled overcoat, draped on a faded blue suit. On his shoulder was a large, worn-out knapsack and in his hands he held a tray - carrying a pair of hot dogs. He settled into his seat, carefully placed the bag beside him on the floor and pulled out a water bottle. Then he began to slowly, eat his meal.

As I chewed, I paused and thought to myself ; "Why would a hungry man, buy a hot HERE?" I mean, they weren't bad - they just weren't worth buying. Especially, when you could purchase ONE of their 'famous' hamburgers - and get TWO.

The answer was obvious and the only one that made sense. You'd only buy that in a bun - if you couldn't afford , to buy the burger.

I had eaten my quota, risen from my seat and carried my tray to where all the others were stacked. I then headed towards the washroom and past the man in the rumpled overcoat. As I reached him, I dug into my pocket and placed a folded ten dollar bill next to the edge of his tray. He paused from his meal, looked down at the money and then at , as I continued walk. 

Upon exiting the 'men's room' - above the ruckus of the crowd - I heard a voice rise in an ever increasing volume ; "Sir... Sir," I turned see who was hollering. It was the man in the rumpled overcoat. He looked at , mouthed the words ; "Thank you," and nodded his head in gratitude. I nodded back and noticed tears welling in his eyes. I made my way back my table. Food remnants were still piled high and my friends' laughter filled my ears. But my heart felt sad.

As I sat down, I glanced again at the man in the rumpled overcoat. He waved , flung his bag over his shoulder - then walked outside. I presumed, it's where he preferred be - or perhaps... not. One of my buddies snapped my gaze - with a question.

"I'm sorry... I wasn't paying attention," I replied.

And it's true. I guess I don't pay attention, often enough. How many of us do?

. ..

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