You can't pick your family....  

secret_lade 45F
1239 posts
11/13/2019 3:37 pm
You can't pick your family....


I absolutely wish I could, though.

My brother, who hasn't spoken to me since my mother's funeral, has reached out to me to ask if I "still have the trunk Grandma gave me with our toys in it".

First of all, it's my trunk. Second of all, it's full of MY stuff. Stuff that was in MY bedroom from when I was RAISED by my grandma and grandpa.

What a fucker.

I don't plan on responding. If he thinks I'm in any way, shape, or form going to share my sketch books, my drawings, my letters and cards, MY childhood toys, he's on crack.

Not happening....

The only time this guy has EVER contacted me is to demand stuff.

I wrote him off at my mothers funeral. When he sat there and argued with me that I owed him money for driving up from Florida to attend I was disgusted. There he was, 2 income family doing ok for themselves and he wanted me, single mom in the midst of an ugly divorce with 3 , one under 2, to give him money.

He ended up storming out with his family because I refused to give him a dime.

And now this.....

I'm just so fucking disgusted.

Sorry for the rant, folks.... I just need to vent.

1seeking1 54F
2703 posts
11/22/2019 3:43 pm

Venting is God, sad that there so many selfish people...


secret_lade 45F
1313 posts
11/14/2019 2:00 am

    Quoting easy_going2014:
    Hi secret_lade

    thanks for sharing this post

    I disassociate myself from "takers"

    it's hard to do, because people always say that they are family

    but, it can be done

    good luck!!!
I disassociated myself from him long ago. His own children will not have anything to do with him, so very sad. He has turned out to be a carbon copy of what our parents were when we were growing up. Alcoholic, abusive, manipulator....


secret_lade 45F
1313 posts
11/14/2019 1:54 am

    Quoting CUMHANDLEME:
    Family members can sometimes be our worst enemy because they know exactly how to go for the jugular with one swift move.
Growing up, we had abusive parents, we were also both sexually abused by the same family member. For the longest time I felt guilty that I was removed from the home and sent to live with our Grandparents so I spent a good portion of my early adult life protecting him and trying to straighten him out. In essence, I was only enabling him and created a problem.


CUMHANDLEME 57F  
637 posts
11/13/2019 9:46 pm

Family members can sometimes be our worst enemy because they know exactly how to go for the jugular with one swift move.

Do you have any Primal Urges ... I do, please CUMHANDLEME and explore some of my naughty and nice Primal ... Urges with me !!!


easy_going2014 53M
11440 posts
11/13/2019 8:45 pm

Hi secret_lade

thanks for sharing this post

I disassociate myself from "takers"

it's hard to do, because people always say that they are family

but, it can be done

good luck!!!

To leave private messages, please use my confidential mailbox at my blog:

Good luck!!!


secret_lade 45F
1313 posts
11/13/2019 8:29 pm

    Quoting jajo696:
    Yup....vent away. We all need an outlet. Some families are not what we need them to be .....and never will be. ( sigh ) ~~
I'm at a place where I'm ok with the fact that I don't have a loving, supportive family. I've accepted it for what it is. I just wish it didn't hurt my feelings at times....


jajo696 64F
1098 posts
11/13/2019 8:12 pm

Yup....vent away. We all need an outlet. Some families are not what we need them to be .....and never will be. ( sigh ) ~~


secret_lade 45F
1313 posts
11/13/2019 8:11 pm

    Quoting KX450F2016:
    I get it...and it sucks... I have friends that I consider more family than my actual family!
That is definitely the case for me.


secret_lade 45F
1313 posts
11/13/2019 8:09 pm

    Quoting Cummin4YaNow:
    I totally get ya. As I'm dealing with similar issues. Now that you have vented, move forward, find an activity that ....not only you love, but one that Embraces you! For me it was mountain biking, and it got me out of those tough times and kept me in shape. It was "my out," but more than that... It was my PEACE!
You know, you are probably right. I should find an activity I enjoy. I certainly haven't been finding anything that has given me peace lately.


secret_lade 45F
1313 posts
11/13/2019 8:04 pm

    Quoting mc_justmc:
    Maybe we can hook him up with my sister, then we'll only need one hand grenade.....
I would happily do so. When we were kids, I was so protective of him, it saddens me to see how he is now, and has been, for years.


secret_lade 45F
1313 posts
11/13/2019 8:01 pm

    Quoting agedfun1:
    Family is often not the one we are born into but the one where members hold each other close.
The family I was born into was dysfunctional and abusive. I'm ok with not being close to them.


secret_lade 45F
1313 posts
11/13/2019 7:58 pm

    Quoting Paulxx001:
    Venting is good...
    I do it all the time. 👍
I don't really have an outlet to vent..... Aside from here. I try not to let people see when I'm frustrated or down. Most of the time when I do try to talk about something that's bothering, it ends up being with the wrong person.


KX450F2016 51M  
56 posts
11/13/2019 6:58 pm

I get it...and it sucks... I have friends that I consider more family than my actual family!


Cummin4YaNow 45M
27 posts
11/13/2019 6:02 pm

I totally get ya. As I'm dealing with similar issues. Now that you have vented, move forward, find an activity that ....not only you love, but one that Embraces you! For me it was mountain biking, and it got me out of those tough times and kept me in shape. It was "my out," but more than that... It was my PEACE!


mc_justmc 59M  
5188 posts
11/13/2019 5:49 pm

Maybe we can hook him up with my sister, then we'll only need one hand grenade.....


agedfun1 72M  
414 posts
11/13/2019 4:34 pm

Family is often not the one we are born into but the one where members hold each other close.


Paulxx001 62M
12938 posts
11/13/2019 4:31 pm

Venting is good...
I do it all the time. 👍

... is there another way to look at it...
Can you? Only One In Ten Can Read This


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