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A True Blonde 2018-06-08
A blond goes into a world-wide message center to send a message
to her mother. When the clerk tells him it will be $300, she
exclaims, ''I can't afford that, but I would
do ANYTHING to get a message to my mom!'' <br><br>
To that the man asks, ''Anything?''
<br><br>
She says ''Anything'' <br><br>
With that, the ...
2 評論, 101 瀏覽次數,
19 票
,4.18 分數
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Stolen Credit Card 2018-06-08
Question: Have you ever had a credit card stolen? <br><br>
Answer: Yes, my wife’s credit card was stolen. <br><br>
Question: Did you report it missing? <br><br>
Answer: No, the guy who stole it spends less than my wife,
so I’m better off.
1 評論, 24 瀏覽次數,
6 票
,3.37 分數
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Hippo and a Zippo 2018-06-07
What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?
<br><br>
/ <br><br>
/ <br><br>
/ <br><br>
/ <br><br>
/ <br><br>
/ <br><br>
/ <br><br>
/ <br><br>
/ The Zippo is a little lighter...
5 評論, 25 瀏覽次數,
9 票
,1.72 分數
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What kind of bees produce milk? 2018-06-02
Boo-bees!
1 評論, 12 瀏覽次數,
8 票
,1.62 分數
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Superman joke 2018-06-01
Superman is flying and sees Wonderwoman naked on the roof
of the Hall of Justice. He exclaims "Great Scott!"
He thinks I'm Superman I can be in and out before she
knows it. WHOOSH BAM BAM BAM BAM. Wonderwoman says"
What was that? The Invisible man says" I don't
know but my ass really hurts.
1 評論, 29 瀏覽次數,
8 票
,3.48 分數
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Two Garbage Bags 2018-05-27
A little old lady is walking down the street dragging two
large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags rips,
and every once in a while a $20 bill falls out onto the sidewalk.
<br><br>
Noticing this, a policeman stops her, and says, "Ma'am,
there are $20 bills falling out of your bag." <br><br>
"Oh, really? Darn, " says the little old ...
2 評論, 82 瀏覽次數,
18 票
,2.85 分數
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Once a Marine, Always a Marine 2018-05-27
On their 50th anniversary, a wife found the negligee she
wore on her wedding night and put it on. <br><br>
She went to her husband, a retired Marine, and asked, "Honey,
do you remember this?" <br><br>
He looked up from his newspaper and said; "Yes dear,
I do. You wore that same negligee the night we were married" <br><br>
She said, ...
1 評論, 76 瀏覽次數,
10 票
,3.58 分數
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Money Back 2018-05-25
A thief stuck a pistol in a man's ribs and said, "Give
me your money." <br><br>
The gentleman, shocked by the sudden attack, said "You
cannot do this, I'm a United States Congressman!"
<br><br>
The thief said, "In that case, give me my money!"
1 評論, 35 瀏覽次數,
14 票
,3.46 分數
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Just Confirmed 2018-05-25
It's just been confirmed Monica Lewinski voted for Trump. She said the last Clinton in office left a bad taste in her mouth....
1 評論, 25 瀏覽次數,
12 票
,3.86 分數
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So This Guy Walks into a Bar with an Octopus under his arm... 2018-05-21
So this guy walks into a bar with an Octopus under his arm.
He tosses the Octopus onto the bar and says "I bet anyone
a drink that my Octopus can play any musical instrument
that you give him." The piano player says "I'll take that bet"
The guy puts the Octopus on the piano and he starts playing
and it is better than Ray Charles !!! Another guy says "Can he play my ...
3 評論, 92 瀏覽次數,
19 票
,3.78 分數
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The Old Soldier 2018-05-17
A man walked into a supermarket with his zipper down. A lady
cashier walked up to him and said, 'your barracks door
is open'. Not a phrase that men normally use, he went
on his way looking a bit puzzled. When he was about d shopping,
a man came up and said, 'your fly is open.' he zipped
up and finished his shopping. <br><br>
At the checkout, he intentionally got in the ...
1 評論, 75 瀏覽次數,
19 票
,3.39 分數
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Cheesy Joke 2018-05-13
How do you make a tissue paper dance? Put a boogy in it.
2 評論, 16 瀏覽次數,
10 票
,2.39 分數
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A Close Shave 2018-05-12
A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is
foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting
a close shave around the cheeks. ''I have just
the thing, '' says the barber taking a small wooden
ball from a nearby drawer. ''Just place this between
your cheek and gum.'' <br><br>
The places the ball in his mouth and the barber ...
1 評論, 88 瀏覽次數,
20 票
,4.27 分數
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Thermometer 2018-05-10
Do you know the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?
<br><br>
The taste.
1 評論, 17 瀏覽次數,
9 票
,1.93 分數
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Cash rules everything 2018-05-09
I fell in love with a cam girl, the only problem is that she
does not know. I keep sending her points and gifts but nothing.
Oh well she just might be out for the cash!!!
1 評論, 22 瀏覽次數,
8 票
,1.62 分數
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Vatican 2018-05-08
A young man was on holidays in Rome and decided he would go
do a tour of the Vatican, grabbed his camera so he could capture
the event. On arriving he decided to take some photos of the outside
of the vatican, to get the whole shot he moved right back
near some bushes. He'd taken a few shots when he heard some rustling noises
in the bushes, thinking it might be a wild animal he was ready
to ...
1 評論, 76 瀏覽次數,
12 票
,2.27 分數
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An Ostrich Story 2018-05-08
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich
behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The
man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke, "
and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"
"I'll have the same, " says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order.
"That will Be $.40 please" The man reaches
into his ...
2 評論, 70 瀏覽次數,
14 票
,2.82 分數
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funny 2018-05-07
Why did the chicken cross the road? because your dick was
stuck in the chicken!
1 評論, 6 瀏覽次數,
2 票
,5.20 分數
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Bad jokes 2018-05-04
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he's been gettin' choked all day!
1 評論, 12 瀏覽次數,
8 票
,2.32 分數
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An Irish Tale 2018-05-03
An Irish priest named Father O'Malley was transferred
to Texas. <br><br>
<br><br>
Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was
a fine spring day in his new west Texas mission parish. He
walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of
the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass
lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He ...
1 評論, 83 瀏覽次數,
11 票
,2.61 分數
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THE Talk 2018-04-26
A father asked his 10-year old if he knew about the birds
and the bees. <br><br> “I don’t want to know, ” the said, bursting
into tears. “Promise me you won’t tell me.” <br><br>
Confused the father asked what was wrong. <br><br>
The boy sobbed. “When I was six, I got the “there’s
no Easter Bunny speech. At seven, I got the “there’s ...
1 評論, 56 瀏覽次數,
9 票
,2.78 分數
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hand some 2018-04-25
When three people have sex, it's called a threesome.
When two people have sex, it's called a twosome. Now
I understand why they call you handsome. 
2 評論, 40 瀏覽次數,
18 票
,5.03 分數
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For a woman, why is sex with a man like a blizzard? 2018-04-23
For a woman, why is sex with a man like a blizzard? She never knows how deep it's going to get, nor how long
it is going to last!
2 評論, 13 瀏覽次數,
5 票
,2.82 分數
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Difference between a good girl and a nice girl. 2018-04-23
Difference between a good girl and a nice girl: A nice girl goes home and then goes to bed. A good girl goes to bed and then goes home!
1 評論, 7 瀏覽次數,
5 票
,4.12 分數
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funny or not? 2018-04-23
My wife asked for chap stick but I accidentally handed her
superglue, she still isn't talking to me.
1 評論, 7 瀏覽次數,
4 票
,2.47 分數
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huge penis!! 2018-04-22
The man with a 25 inch penis. A man who had a 25 inch long penis
went to his doctor to complain that he was having a problem with this rather massive instrument
and has had more than one complaint. "Doctor, "
he asked, in total frustration, "is there anything
you can do for me?" The doctor replies, "Medically
, there is nothing I can do. But, I do know this witch who
may ...
4 評論, 100 瀏覽次數,
15 票
,4.82 分數
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think about this for second 2018-04-22
A garden is just a zoo for plants ....hmmmm <br><br>
Show me your boobs!
1 評論, 11 瀏覽次數,
3 票
,4.41 分數
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midgit 2018-04-22
what do you call a mexican midgit a paragraph too short too
be a essay
1 評論, 17 瀏覽次數,
8 票
,3.94 分數
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free service 2018-04-21
once Mr. Paul wanted to buy health insurance, at the age
of 70, he rang up health i9nsurance co., to send their agent
to his home. After, having discussed all the illness, critical
illness, accident cover, he started with the leg pulling.
Paul: do you cover the Penis, as well, in the health policy.
Agent: Yes Sir, we do. Paul: will you replace the penis, in the event of damage
or failure. ...
1 評論, 59 瀏覽次數,
12 票
,4.74 分數
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pokers 2018-04-20
Q: Why are pubic hairs curly? <br><br>
A: So you don't poke your eye out. 
4 評論, 20 瀏覽次數,
8 票
,2.78 分數
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