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at the pearly Gates 6/4/2007
it was time for St Peter's annual three week vacation
and jesus volounteered to fill in for him at the pearly gates
it's easy St Peter explained sit at the registration
desk and ask each person a little about his or her life the
send them to housekeeping to pick up their wings on the third
day jesus looked up to see a bewildered old man standing
in front of him he asked the old man to tell him ...
0 Comments, 47 Views,
0 Votes
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bush 6/4/2007
a man gets into a taxi in washington and as they are driving
along the driver asks say buddy you heard the latest george
bush joke? the passenger leans forward and says i am george
bush the driver replies ok then i'll explain it real
slowly...
0 Comments, 43 Views,
4 Votes
,0.53 Score
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fucking a super hero 6/3/2007
superman was doing a tour of the city one night when he sees
wonder women laying on a beach start naked he thinks to himeself
finally after all these years heres my chance with the women
of my dreams so superman zooms down quickly does his thing
and leaves the wonder women stunned and shocked says what
the heck was that the invisible man goes i don't know
but my ass sure is sore!
0 Comments, 43 Views,
2 Votes
,1.73 Score
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if you only knew... 6/3/2007
according to a news report a certain private school in markham
ON canada was recently faced with a unique problem a number
of 12 year old girls were begining to use lipstick and would
put it on in the bathroom that was fine but after they put
on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror
leaving dozens of little lip prints every night the maintenance
man would remove them and the ...
0 Comments, 56 Views,
3 Votes
,2.94 Score
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Dr. you wont laugh will you? 6/3/2007
"you won't laugh? asked fred of course i won't
laugh the doctor said i'm a professional in twenty
years l've never laughed at a patient ok then fred said
and proceeded to drop his trousers revealling the tiniest
penis the doctor had ever seen it couldn't have been
the size of a peanut unable to control himself the dotor
started giggling and then fell laughing to the floor ten
minutes later he ...
0 Comments, 57 Views,
3 Votes
,2.94 Score
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could be! 6/3/2007
"you've got the wrong number said the sleepy
eyed man into the telephone receiver your gonna have to
call the weather report for that information who was that
the beautiful young wife asked some guy wanting to know
if the coast was clear
0 Comments, 33 Views,
1 Votes
,1.10 Score
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dick tracy lives 6/3/2007
two private detectives where secretly watching a young
women through a bedroom window the two detectives recognized
the women as their 's wife and she was having
wild sex with a strange man this is what i suspected detective
number one said lets go in after him terrific detective
number two said how soon do you think he will be finished
0 Comments, 39 Views,
1 Votes
,1.10 Score
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pet shop rabbit 6/3/2007
a precious little girl walks into a pet shop and ask "excuthe
me do you have any widdle wabbits? as the shopkeeper's
heart melts he gets down on his knees so that he's on
her level and he ask do you want a widdle white wabbit or maybe
one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there? she in
turn blushes rocks on her heels puts her hands on her knees
leans forward and whispers........ "i don't ...
0 Comments, 30 Views,
0 Votes
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pussy size 6/3/2007
once a person visited a shop to purchase a bra for his wife
the sales girl asked for the bra size the man said he don't
remember the bra size what he do the sales girl said touch
my boobs and estimate the size of your wifes boobs the man
replied oh i forget my wife asked for panties also and i don't
know her pussy size
0 Comments, 51 Views,
0 Votes
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crude jokes 6/3/2007
Q. What doesn't belong in this list : Meat, Eggs, Wife,
Blowjob? A. Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you
can't beat a blowjob.
Q. What do you call born in whorehouses? A. Brothel sprouts.
Q. Three words to ruin a man's ego... A. "Is it in?"
Q. How does a guy know if he has a high sperm count? A. If the girl has to chew, before she swallows.
...
2 Comments, 80 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
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Family Fun 6/1/2007
A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely
wife, "Honey, we're going fishing this weekend,
you, me and the dog."
The wife grimaces, "But I don't like fishing!"
"Look! We're going fishing and that's final."
"Do I have to go fishing with you... I really don't
want to go!" "Right I'll give you three choices... 1 You come
fishing with me and the dog... 2 You give me a BLOW ...
0 Comments, 194 Views,
4 Votes
,1.30 Score
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Retirement 6/1/2007
It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years
of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the
same neighbourhood.
When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted
by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent
him on his way with a big gift envelope. At the second house they presented him with a box of fine
cigars. The folks at the third house ...
0 Comments, 65 Views,
5 Votes
,3.47 Score
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jokes for the ladies 6/1/2007
Q-What is white and 12"? A- Nothing
Q-What is the best thing that comes out of a penis? A-The wrinkles...
Q-How come polish women stopped using vibrators? A-They kept chipping their teeth...
One day there was a foot and a penis that could talk to eachother,
and they were comparing who had the worst job, so the foot
said, "Every morning at 5am he puts me on that ...
0 Comments, 58 Views,
5 Votes
,3.14 Score
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10 6/1/2007
ESTROGEN ISSUES" 10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"
1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem. 2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
3 The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans. 4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you
say. 5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every
bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving-call
1- ...
1 Comments, 45 Views,
3 Votes
,4.90 Score
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Not the bloke joke 6/1/2007
How can you tell when a man is going to say something intelligent?
He starts out with "A woman once said......"
2 Comments, 55 Views,
4 Votes
,2.47 Score
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Traffic cops gone wrong 6/1/2007
An old lady in a nursing home is wheeling up and down the halls
in her wheelchair making sounds like she's driving
a car. As she's going down the hall an old man jumps out
of a room and says, "Excuse me ma'am but you were
speeding. Can I see your driver's license?"
She digs around in her purse a little, pulls out a candy wrapper,
and hands it to him. He looks it over, gives her a warning
and ...
0 Comments, 93 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score
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Cheap car 5/31/2007
A men was reading the paper when an ad caught his eye: $500.
Porsche! New! The man thought that is was unusual to sell
a Porshce for $500, and he thought it was a joke, but thought
it was worth a shot. So he went to the lady's house and
sure enough, She had an almost brand new Porsche. "WOW!"
The man said. "Can I take it for a test drive?"
He was supprised that it ran perfectly and took it back ...
7 Comments, 239 Views,
11 Votes
,4.66 Score
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Human Resources Problem 5/29/2007
Every day a male co-worker walks up very close to a
lady standing at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath
of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this, she can't stand it and takes her
complaint to a supervisor in the personnel department
and states that she wants to file a sexual harassment grievance
against him.
The Human Resources ...
0 Comments, 82 Views,
1 Votes
,1.10 Score
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THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY 5/29/2007
THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY Good : Your wife is pregnant. Bad : It's triplets. Ugly : You had a vasectomy five years ago.
Good : Your wife's not talking to you Bad : She wants a divorce. Ugly : She's a lawyer.
Good : Your is finally maturing. Bad ...
0 Comments, 67 Views,
4 Votes
,3.25 Score
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A , A Chicken and A Harley 5/27/2007
kycpl2playwithOn the farm
lived a chicken an a , both of whom loved to play together.
One day the two were playing, when the fell into a bog
and began to sink. Scared for his life, the whinnied for the chicken
to go get the farmer for help! Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm,
he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail,
for he had ...
0 Comments, 123 Views,
4 Votes
,3.63 Score
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More blond jokes . 5/26/2007
Two blondes living in Townsville were sitting on a bench
talking...... And one blonde says to the other, "Which do You think is farther away..........Melbourne or the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo,
can You see Melbourne .?????"
CAR TROUBLE A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
Mechanic it died.
After he works on it ...
0 Comments, 88 Views,
4 Votes
,0.92 Score
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Do as I say, not as I do! 5/26/2007
It was the middle of the night when the little boy had to get
up to go to the bathroom. However, as he passed his parent's
open bedroom and happen to look in, he decided to just go
back to bed and forget it. As he slowly climbed in, he shook his head and muttered to
himself, "...and to think that Mom gets pissed at
me for sucking my THUMB!"
0 Comments, 154 Views,
6 Votes
,2.80 Score
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Olympic Condoms 5/26/2007
The couple was about to enjoy their usual Friday date-night
sex, when the young lady happen to look down at a brightly
colored object in the young man's hand. "What are those?" she querried. "Oh. Those are my Olympic condoms" replied
the young man, "They come in Gold, Silver, and Bronze!"
"What color are you using?" she asked. "For you, darling, always the Gold." he responded.
She ...
0 Comments, 98 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
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Never get Tired of Blondes 5/23/2007
THE BLONDE AND THE GATOR
A young blonde woman was driving through the Florida Everglades
while on vacation. She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator
shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices
the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one
of the shopkeepers, the young Blonde declared, "Well ...
2 Comments, 135 Views,
8 Votes
,4.17 Score
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Penis Joke 5/23/2007
Q. Three words to ruin a man's ego... A. "Is it in?"
0 Comments, 79 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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Penis Joke 5/23/2007
Q. What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common? A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.
0 Comments, 35 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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lol 5/23/2007
dont do drugs and dont have sex lol what your parents always
said right? lol
0 Comments, 32 Views,
4 Votes
,0.14 Score
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lol 5/23/2007
hey i need a hand jack alright bob i'll give a hand. jessica
do you need a hand no jack and bob i need ya dicks!!!
0 Comments, 31 Views,
2 Votes
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bjhfgvhjk 5/23/2007
tykirngggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg iuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
riujrjntriutjreoifmfodfmgdfigjjrpejfijidfjfmjirjkfjeriskfjeirkdjrugkdpa95k4fkfjkkfkfjhkfkhmfkfkyjgjfkfkfkfkfjgjgjgjfjjfjfjfkgkfjfkgjfkgjfkgjfkgjtitkfkgjfjkgkkfigjfkgkgkgjrritktjrkfjtirifkgjg,
l, mglkhmklmgh klhgklhjfgjhdrfkgjfdlghfdlkfjgfklg
lhfghrthrturdhgldfgoirhtreo rdoghijoth goijgrihtrdogn
0 Comments, 10 Views,
1 Votes
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Redneck Humor 5/22/2007
Handier than a peter at a picnic (not sure why but sounds
good)
Having more fun than a puppy with two peters
Nervous as a in church
0 Comments, 61 Views,
1 Votes
,1.10 Score
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